The fire seems to have stayed with me today. Or perhaps I should call it the voice of reason. Once again I started my morning taking care of chores around the house instead of leaving them for the afternoon while I dithered the morning away surfing, Facebooking and generally doing nothing. I almost went with my usual routine, wanting to abandon that irksome pile of ironing for later in the day but that voice inside my head said, “No. Get it done now,” and I had to listen to it. I knew that ironing just wouldn’t get done until late this afternoon because I know how I am. I also know that I am much more at ease at my creative work when I have taken care of things ahead of time. It’s no longer weighing on my mind, therefore it cannot distract me. This is a form of distraction that I can eliminate easily if I maintain the discipline I’ve held for these two days. I can only hope this new routine sticks.
Word count on my book currently stands at 31,000+. You see, even though I’ve said that I’ve been working on this novel for nearly four years (March will mark the next anniversary), my first draft was a mess. There were too many long absences, and because of those absences I lost momentum as well as familiarity with the story and characters. And I kept changing my mind about which direction I wanted the story take. I threw in ridiculous things to help make it more interesting when what I was really doing was trying to rekindle my own interest in it. I’d lost focus and had therefore become bored with the entire thing. It was then I realized that I needed to start over.
So I did, in July of last year. And though it’s been seven months from a new draft and four years from the original idea, I am not worried. I have more confidence in this story now than I ever did back then because I simplified things. I know it sounds ridiculous to be making cuts when I don’t even have a completed first draft but let me tell you this book was a real clusterfuck before that. Subtracting a character and taking out the ridiculous paranormal stuff (which included vampires, ugh, what was I thinking?) solved my problems with indecision. Now I’m back to writing because I know where I want this all to go, not to mention how to get there.
I have also seen the impact that long absences can have. They really hurt my progress. I don’t intend to let myself get away with a lackadaisical approach to writing ever again. I cannot be lazy about this. I will get nowhere if I do. I found myself getting nervous yesterday because I hadn’t worked on my book in three days. If I maintain this tenacity, perhaps it won’t take me as long next time I write a book.
Presently I am saddled with a temporary setback, my chosen remedies of Bayer and acetaminophen working their magic in a slow and steady fashion. Headaches are a bitch, especially hormonal ones because no matter how good I eat or how adequate my sleep I still get one, and at the same time every month no less. At least it’s predictable, I’ll give it that much. And while a clean house and completed chores are a surefire recipe for a clear head, said head can’t accomplish much if it isn’t pain-free to boot. I am frustrated by this inconvenience, however minor. But I must wait it out, just as I must demonstrate patience for my story to come together. It’s not a strong suit of mine, never has been, and though it is a virtue of which I am in short supply I’m sure I can use my lack of it to my advantage somehow. If it has me writing faster and/or longer in order to make more progress in a shorter amount of time, so be it. For now, my eyes and mind beg of me to rest and recover. I would be a fool on her way to a much bigger headache if I did not obey.
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