I'm still here too, though I've been "there", as of late. "There" has included a lot of reading (as though all those recent book reviews didn't give that away), as well as back-to-school hullabaloo. Both of my children go to school now (my 4-year old is in a 2.5-hour preschool class three times a week), one of them all day long. It's been a big adjustment for her, and she's expressed more than once to me just how long of a day it feels and how much it wears on her patience and concentration (both of which are in short supply). By midday, she's done with the strict focus academics and ready to go home, poor thing. Coming from someone who was nicknamed "Moonlady" by her second grade teacher for the egregious amount of daydreaming I did to quell my disinterest in certain subjects, I totally understand her frustrations.
I've recently finished a wonderful debut novel by Diane Setterfield (review to follow) and have a whole host of others lined up to read. I'm rarely without anything to read these days. I really don't know what I would do without books. In fact, my love of movies, a love that used to be primary rather than secondary to the written word, has waned in the last few years. I've no doubt it has to do with the lack of time to watch them, not to mention having to go through the trouble of securing a babysitter to see one outside of my home. The movies I like to watch aren't suitable for children and I'm in the company of my 4-year old a great deal of the time despite the fact she goes to school now, not to mention I'm completely restricted during the summer because both of my daughters are home all day long. It also has to do with the fact that movies are lacking in originality these days. Has anyone noticed the ridiculous amount of remakes populating the cineplexes as of late? There's also a rash of rehashed storylines ("Contagion" is the first film that comes to mind - haven't we seen this before in "The Andromeda Strain", "Outbreak", et. al. ?). Of course, there's nothing new under the sun really - it's just a matter of putting your own personal spin on it to make it fresh and interesting again. I guess I'm disillusioned by films, especially adaptations, because they can't match what I can conjure in my own mind. They can't conform to my vision and/or version of events and I loathe them for it. Or maybe I'm just too picky.
But for now I'm content to let my entertainment lie in the form of literature. I'm a big fan of electronic reading devices, the Kindle in particular. I'm silently hoping there will be one under the Christmas tree for me this December, though I'm doubtful it will happen since it's a bit lavish ($189 for the 3G Wi-Fi) and not cost-effective (why should I buy books when I can read nearly all of them for free through the library?). As with anything, there are pros and cons, and so far the cons win out. But there is always the library, sweet, sweet, library (two, in fact - I hold cards for both the library in my hometown and a neighboring city's branch). It is my mecca.
Summer's repressive heat is over; the autumnal equinox came to pass just last week and I'm already noticing there is a little less daylight hours with each passing week, the sun sinking lower in the sky a little bit earlier each day. I can already see leaves turning and the air has grown cool and crisp, rain populating the forecast. It can make things appear dreary, what with its consistently overcast skies, limited sunshine, and intermittent showers that can make a temperature in the high 50s seem positively bonechilling if one gets too saturated. I am not a cold weather person - I can already forecast the dour moods that will accompany this dreary weather, my mind easily sliding into a deep and prolonged melancholy once the snow and ice storms hit and have me begrudgingly housebound. For now, fall is enjoyable, the need for a jacket to keep the chill away, a steaming cup of coffee or cocoa to warm the innards, the rich dank scent of rain-soaked soil and the soon to follow woody aroma of dried leaves an absolute delight. I dream of my first velvety bite of sweet potato pie, steam furling off large pots of hearty soups on the stove, the heavenly aroma of roast chicken permeating my small house, and the joyful, communal smorgasbord of Thanksgiving. Food is comfort, and much is desired and partaken once the cold weather hits.
I have now been working on my writing project for over three years (this March will mark a fourth anniversary if I have not finished it by then). It sounds so ambitious and not a little pretentious when I say that I'm writing a novel, and perhaps that is part of the problem. I fear too much what other people may think of my aspirations and the time it is taking me to complete it. A lot of authors (prolific ones at that) will say that it should take no more than three months to complete a first-draft. But then there are authors who took several years to complete their work (Teri Coyne is the first person that comes to mind - "The Last Bridge" was, in my humble opinion, an excellent novel, and one that I had the pleasure of reading through the Amazon Vine program) because they could not work on it full time. I'm sure it's easy to write a manuscript in three months when that's all your doing (meaning writing is your full time job and nothing else), when you don't have young children interrupting you all the live-long day and needing your attention, and when you have a good amount of focus and certainty on where you want your story to go/end up.
Yeeeeeah, I don't really have much of any of that right now. My life is a constant stream of interruptions, lapses in concentration, lack of focus and/or desire, and bouts of self-doubt. This is a recipe for a work that will take a LONG time. And so be it. My life is filled with other things right now, my children the biggest and most important of them all. Sometimes writing just has to wait.
But I will do it. I will complete my manuscript if it kills me. And I will be published one day. It can all be realized with hard work, a little sacrifice, and most of all, self-confidence. Nobody ever got anywhere without believing in themselves.
And so it goes. Perhaps there will be another long absence from this blog, perhaps not. But always know that I am here. I'm just "there" too.
No comments:
Post a Comment