1) I’m a former smoker (marijuana and tobacco). I had my first cigarette at thirteen and my first joint when I was about fifteen. I quit pot at seventeen and cigarettes at nineteen. My preferred brand of cigarette (Marlboro Lights) cost $2.75 a pack when I quit back in ‘99. Now it’s over $5!
2) I have trichotillomania, an impulse control disorder that is characterized by the repeated urge to pull out body hair. I have been plucking my eyelashes on and off for years since I was in first grade and I still do it. I once plucked a section of hair off of my scalp that created a small bald spot and I lied to my classmates about how it happened (I claimed my hair had gotten caught in a brush and I gave it a mighty yank to dislodge it and out came a generous cluster of hair in its bristles).
3) I’m terrified of being in a car crash. This fear came suddenly about a year ago and I’m assuming it stems from a minor accident I was in a little over 5 years ago.
4) I have never been outside of the United States. Within the US, I have visited only 6 states (Tennessee, North Carolina, Kentucky, California, Indiana, Illinois).
5) Some of my favorite comedians are Dave Chappelle, Bill Hicks, Dave Attell, Whitney Cummings, Greg Giraldo and Sam Kinison.
6) I am nearsighted and wear contact lenses.
7) I’m a cat-person (and I was lucky enough to marry a cat-person).
8) I once wanted to be an actress.
9) I’m consumed by time. I feel naked without my watch and can’t stand it when I forget to put it on.
10) I can barely suppress laughter when I hear a fart (hell, I’m laughing just typing the word “fart” – what does that tell you about my slightly infantile sense of humor?).
11) I have a light scar high on my forehead from stitches I got when I was five.
12) I saw my first corpse when I was nine (the open-casket funeral of my maternal grandfather). I was even brave enough to touch his hand and jumped when I felt how ice-cold it was.
13) I prefer Coke over Pepsi.
14) A few of my favorite smells are freshly ground coffee beans, baking bread and roast chicken.
15) My first and middle name are completely original (in other words, there were no family names handed down to me).
16) I’m an early bird and a night owl (whatever suites my mood and energy levels).
17) When I was born, the hit song at the time was “Rock With You” by Michael Jackson. Popular films that year were “Coal Miner’s Daughter”, “The Empire Strikes Back” and “Raging Bull”. The average cost of a new house was $68,700, a gallon of gas was $1.19, Ronald Reagan was elected President, John Lennon was murdered, Mt. St. Helens erupted and Iran and Iraq began their engagement in a war that would last eight years.
And now the Proust Questionnaire, originated by Bernard Pivot (used repeatedly by James Lipton on “Inside The Actor’s Studio”):
What is your favorite word? idea
What is your least favorite word? stupid
What turns you on? passion
What turns you off? condescension
What sound or noise do you love? Surf lapping a shore
What sound or noise do you hate? Industry (cars, buses, trains, machines/factory sounds, power tools, construction)
What is your favorite curse word? fuck
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Writer (novelist, journalist)
What profession would you not like to do? Anything in sales
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “It’s all taken care of. Now come meet your grandmother…”
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